Neighbours Delighted As Man Trying To Turn On Christmas Lights Is Electrocuted





Residents of a Dublin suburb were overwhelmed with joy last night when a local man who was trying to turn on his Christmas lights on the 7th of November was electrocuted and killed. Neighbours of 63-year-old Paddy Delaney from Castleknock said he’s been turning them on earlier every year and it was really starting to piss them off.

“I asked him to stop doing it.” said Paddy’s next-door neighbour Tom Dwyer. “I kept telling him that as soon as he turns his lights on all our kids start whinging at us to turn our lights on but he wouldn’t listen. In fact he started turning them on earlier every year just to annoy everyone even more. Selfish prick. Lord rest his soul.”



A safety examination of the house found that Mr. Delaney was adding way too many lights to an already overloaded power source and trying to change a plug during heavy rain while resting his ladder on an overhead power line.

Mary Corcoran lives directly across the road and said she witnessed the whole thing. “He was up there on his ladder with lights hanging out of him everywhere. Next thing there was a bang and he went flying over the hedge like a torpedo into next door’s garden. God Almighty what a thing to witness. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much in my life.”

The debate about when to put up Christmas decorations comes around this time every year. Some people say it’s never too early to bring a bit of joy into the world while others believe it should at least be left until the beginning of December. One thing is certain, the unfortunate Paddy Delaney won’t be taking part in that debate ever again. Some local residents don’t seem overly sad.

“Paddy wasn’t all bad and I do have a tiny bit of sympathy for the man but at the end of the day he was an annoying auld bollocks and most of us living around here won’t miss him that much.” said his wife Anne.