Met Éireann – weekend weather to be mixed but mostly shite

After a couple of lovely sunny days earlier this week, Met Éireann say the weather for the long weekend will be mixed but mostly shite.

Nationwide conditions this afternoon will be partly cloudy until it becomes mostly cloudy and then completely cloudy.

Saturday – It will be cloudy. The absence of rain will give the impression that you can go outside and sit in the garden for a while.

However, when you stick your head outside the door you’ll realise that it’s actually fecking cold so don’t bother your hole.

Sunday – Clouds as far as the eye can see. The day will be dry but once again dry and miserable. You’ll probably be inside for the whole day. Start googling ‘What’s good on Netflix’ now because you’ll be doing feck all else for the rest of the day.

Monday – As you wake up to another grey and cloudy day on Monday morning you’ll realise for the umpteenth time that this is Ireland and the weather here is always going to be mostly shite. On Monday afternoon you’ll go online and start looking for cheap flights to somewhere warm and sunny and finally give up on getting much use out of that garden furniture set you queued for two hours outside Lidl to buy.

Long term forecast:
Next week will see lots of rain, as will next month and next year.