Local Town Delighted To Get A Mention On The News As Street Brawl Makes National Headlines

Tullamore in County Offaly is celebrating today after a street brawl in the town’s Arden View housing estate got a mention on the 6 o’clock news. Local councillor Barney Fitzmaurice said it’s a proud day for the town and it shows there are plenty of interesting stories happening all over the country and not just in Dublin.

“It’s not often you’re sitting at home watching the evening news and you hear the name of your town mentioned. It’s usually Dublin this and Dublin that. Well most of us couldn’t give a shite about Dublin. But it finally happened last night and I must admit my eyes welled up with tears. Tears of pride and happiness. This is an incredible achievement and I’d like to think all my years of hard work putting Tullamore on the map had something to do with it.”

Armed Gardaí were called to the scene of a major disturbance on Thursday afternoon where one man suffered serious but non life-threatening injuries. Local people fear retaliation for the attack is inevitable but councillor Fitzmaurice said the main thing is Tullamore was mentioned on the news.

“I didn’t hear Mullingar getting a mention. Not a word about Athlone either. Jealous much? You can keep your Golden Island Shopping Centre and your Joe Dolan statue. It’s Tullamore they’re talking about because this is where it’s all happening. We’ve been ignored long enough and now is our time to shine. Hon Offaly!”