EU’s Ursula Von Der Leyen says Taoiseach is a good boy

Paul McRingo | Hurling Correspondent

In a glittering ceremony in Dublin attended by European officials and diplomats to celebrate Ireland becoming Presidents of Europe or something, Ursula von der Leyen patted Micheál Martin on the head before declaring, “Who’s a good boy? You are.”

Witnesses say the Taoiseach accepted the praise with a broad smile before promising to “continue being a constructive European partner,” a phrase political analysts confirmed is Brussels talk for “I’ll do whatever you say.”

Officials then presented Ireland with a ceremonial gold star and a certificate reading: Most Likely to Say ‘Yes, Of Course’ Before The Question Has Even Been Finished.

The Commission denied suggestions that the ceremony was intended to embarrass Ireland, insisting it merely wished to “recognise exemplary enthusiasm for compliance.” It also jokingly added that next year’s prize may include a commemorative biscuit if Ireland continues its impressive record.

At press time, Dublin was reportedly checking with Brussels to see whether it was allowed to laugh at the joke.