Centra to introduce Ryanair-style Priority Queues at their deli counters nationwide

By Paul McRingo Sandwich Correspondent

Centra is set introduce priority and non-priority queues at their deli counters nationwide from next week, with the price of joining the priority queue set at €5.

The move follows a trial run at Flynn’s Centra in Tullamore after a number of incidents involving people in a hurry and others who don’t seem to care in the slightest about the lengthy queues building up behind them.

In one well reported incident, local carpenter Eamon O’Toole ended up punching farmer Henry Jockins after Mr Jockins took 15 minutes to choose what he wanted in his take-away dinner.

Sinéad Coonan works at the deli and told us they had to take action because things were getting out of hand.

“One auld lad spent at least 20 minutes asking me ‘What’s that?’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘What’s that?’ I could see everyone behind him getting angry and looking at their watches. Eventually he decided he wasn’t hungry and just left.”

Jonathan Mahon is head of deli strategy at Centra and he told us he believes it’s a great plan to get people back to work in record time.

“We get a lot of builders in and those lads know what they want. In and out. Chicken fillet roll, a can of Monster and a vape refill. Done!

“If Michael O’Leary can get people to pay an extra €30 just to be at the front of a large crowd gathered on a stairway for 25 minutes, then I think we’re on to a sure thing with the priority food queue.”