The race to live in a mansion and do nothing for seven years is on

By Paul McRingo Political Correspondent

A new opinion poll suggests that Fine Gael candidate Heather Humphreys is leading the race to live in a mansion in Dublin’s Phoenix Park and do nothing for seven years.

The Red C survey for the Business Post puts her on 22%, with the Fianna Fáil candidate Jim Gavin in second place on 18%.

However, another poll ran by The Liberal.ie puts Conor McGregor on 100% even though he’s not in it anymore.

So who will be Ireland’s next president and does it really matter?

No. It absolutely does not matter. Not in the slightest. Whoever wins will disappear into Áras an Úachtaráin for the next seven years and live a life of luxury and wealth none of us could even begin to imagine.

The position is entirely ceremonial and with no authority to do anything whatsoever. So utterly pointless.

They will only be seen when foreign dignataries visit Ireland, shaking their hands and inviting them in for tea. Or when they visit foreign dignataries abroad, having their hand shaken and being invited in for tea.

The most hilarious part of course is the debates and the promises the candidates will make, saying what they’ll do and what they’ll change if they become President. They will do and change nothing because they can’t. Oh and keep an ear out for “I’ll be a President for all the people of Ireland.” They like to use that one a lot. All of them.