Republic of Ireland football team disbanded and discontinued after Armenia horror show

By Paul McRingo Sports Correspondent

The Republic of Ireland men’s senior football team has been disbanded and discontinued after they were beaten 2-1 by Armenia last night.

Immediately after the appalling performance and shock defeat against the team ranked 105th in the world, FAI chief executive David Courell phoned the Irish dressing room and informed the coaching staff and players that there would be no more Republic of Ireland football team.

The players will return to their clubs today and contemplate their international future. The black lads will have the option of playing for the country of their parents, in all cases Nigeria, but the white lads are fucked.

Ireland have failed to qualify for the last six World Cups and things have been going from bad to worse under latest manager Heimir Hallgrimsson.

Roy Keane had been many Irish fans favourite to take over as head coach but when asked live on Sky Sports if he’d be interested in the job, Keane seemed to hint that he wouldn’t when he replied “I’d rather drink a pint of my own piss.”