Minister: “Dublin city centre is perfectly safe, just not at night or during the day”

Justice Minister Jim O’Callaghan said he still believes Dublin city centre is “perfectly safe” for tourists and everyone else.

The Minister made the comments during a visit to O’Connell Street where he was accompanied by six body guards and a heavily armed SWAT team.

“Look at me walking around and not a bother on me.” he told reporters. “Would I do this if it wasn’t safe? I wish the media would stop going on about all these attacks. Always focusing on the negatives. Why not write about happy things like fluffy bunny rabbits and pretty flowers?”

One reporter asked the Minister why he appeared to be wearing a bullet proof vest.

“Oh I just threw on the first thing I could find this morning. That’s purely a coincidence. I just like the colours to be honest. It goes with my helmet. This is bullet proof too, isn’t it?”

There have been calls for a greater Garda presence in the capital following a number of random violent attacks, including yet another one on a tourist last night in Temple Bar. The Minister was asked what he intends to do about it.

“Oh please. We’ve all been here for well over five minutes and there’s no sign of any trouble. Dublin city centre is perfectly safe. Just maybe don’t come here at night on your own. Or with someone. Or during the day. Apart from that, it’s a great place altogether. Now if you’ll excuse me I won’t be taking any questions because I just need to get the hell out of here. Goodbye everyone. And good luck! You’re going to need it.”