‘Sober October’ Can Fuck Right Off This Year, Agrees Everyone


The entire population of Ireland has agreed that the annual tradition of Sober October can fuck right off this year and it’s not looking great for next year either. The non-drinking challenge was started by Tullamore man Jim Delaney to raise money for cancer support groups. Participants go booze-free for a month and get friends and family to donate money. We asked Jim if he’ll be continuing the tradition this year.

“I will in me hole. I’ll be drinking pints this year. If people want to give me money for drinking pints they can go ahead. But I’ll tell you right now, I’ll be spending it on more pints.”

Unlike most years, there has been virtually no interest shown in signing up for Sober October this year and with so-called ‘wet pubs’ due to open nationwide from next Monday after a six-month shutdown, publicans are hoping and expecting to be extremely busy. But what about all the new social distancing rules where people must stay at their allocated table for example? Does Jim think this will affect people’s enjoyment of a night out in their local?

“Couldn’t give a shite. I’ll sit in the jacks all night as long as the barman keeps bringing me pints. Sober October was a silly idea. You can donate to charity and still get hammered on a Saturday night so I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I’ll never waste another October as long as I live.”