Shane Ross Promises Wesley College An 80,000 Seater Hockey Stadium If Re-elected

Shane Ross has promised a private school in South Dublin a brand new 80,000 seater hockey stadium if he is re-elected in the general election. Wesley College is in the constituency of Mr. Ross and was at the centre of a media storm last year when he allocated them €150,000 to resurface a hockey pitch while kids in other schools were getting changed in ditches and using jumpers for goalposts.

Shane Ross said today that criticism of his plans to build the €780m stadium is petty and unfair.

“We spoke to representatives from lots of schools all over the country to find out which one was most in need of a brand new state of the art hockey stadium and what we found was that none of them wanted one. They seemed more interested in getting goalposts for that native football game where you can handle the ball but it’s not a foul. Bizarre! I’ll never understand the Irish. I mean I am Irish of course but, you know, not in that way.”

Despite already having two hockey pitches, four rugby pitches, an indoor swimming pool, a running track, an all-weather floodlit soccer pitch and an 18-hole golf course Mr. Ross said construction of Wesley College’s new hockey stadium can begin soon after the election.

“As long as the locals vote for me of course. If they don’t vote for me they get fuck all!”