A Catholic priest in the USA has claimed that the heatwave engulfing Ireland is actually the country burning in hell for repealing the Eighth Amendment in the recent referendum. Father Ray Peterson made his comments during Sunday mass last week and told his congregation in Glenwood, Colorado that we only have ourselves to blame.
“As you all know the Irish are a pale, nocturnal race who rarely venture outside during daylight hours because they’re allergic to the sun.” he told his parishioners. “Spending any length of time in the sun can be lethal for those people as their big ginger heads have been known to suddenly catch fire without warning. Mark my word, this is the vengeance of the Lord. The land of Saints and Scholars has become the land of Sinners and the Almighty is punishing them with endless sunshine!”
Father Peterson went on to claim that God has had his eye on Ireland for several years now and the recent referendum result was the final straw.
“They’ve legalised divorce, contraception, gay marriage and now this. They have turned away from Jesus and they are now paying a terrible price as he ravages their land with blue skies and sunny weather. Take that you Godless heathens! Feel the wrath of the Lord!”
Meanwhile Met Eireann say that after some showery weather this weekend Ireland’s pain and suffering will return next week with widespread sunshine and warm temperatures expected nationwide.