“I’m Sorry With Fucking Bells On, Okay? What More Do You People Want?” Phil Hogan

Phil Hogan has apologised yet again for attending the Oireachtas golf society night out in Clifden last week. The European Commisioner who had already apologised twice issued a new apology and this time went even further.

“If I say sorry again will that do it? I’m sorry, okay? I’m very sorry. I’m sorry with huge big fucking bells on with the word ‘Sorry’ engraved on them. What more do you people want? Now go and moan about something else.”

Despite calls from both the Taoiseach and the Táiniste to consider his position, Phil Hogan is digging his heals in and refusing to give up his lucrative all-expenses-paid job in Brussels. The former environment minister racked up travel and expenses bills of more than €17,000 in just two months recently and is among the EU parliament’s top spenders. It’s hardly surprising then that he doesn’t want to give it up and is praying this whole controversy will just go away.

“I am invaluable to our country over here in Brussels. I’m like a one man tourist board, forever promoting Ireland and telling people how wonderful the place is. And if you think I’m giving all this up and moving back to that kip you’ve another thing coming.”