A group of male friends who went to their local pub last night and witnessed a woman drinking pints are all in agreement that she must be a lesbian. The incident occured in Murtagh’s Bar in Carrick-on-Shannon and took the lads by complete surprise.
“She looked exactly like a normal woman.” said 24 year-old Brian Donnelly. “I mean she wasn’t butch at all and had long hair. I was actually thinking of making a move on her. Luckily I copped just in time that she was drinking a pint or I could’ve ended up snogging Martina fecking Navratilova.”
Brian’s friend Thomas Dunne said the woman was soon joined by a male friend.
“Obviously another gay. Don’t they all hang around together or something? They gave each other a big sloppy kiss when he came in. Then they spent the evening holding hands and actually left the pub arm in arm. Weirdos.”
Brian says it’s such a terrible shame when you see good-looking women turning to lesbianism.
“What a shocking waste of a woman, don’t you think? I mean obviously they just haven’t been with the right fella yet but is that really any reason to become a pervert? I know it’s just a phase but they really need to cop themselves on before it’s too late or they’ll never get a man to ride them ever again.”