Annual Flag-Burning Hate Fest All Set To Go In The North

The annual flag-burning hate fest is all set to go in the north today as tricolour laden bonfires eagerly await to be torched.

As is the tradition on the ‘eleventh night’ bonfires decorated with Irish flags will light up the sky in loyalist areas this evening while local revellers sing songs about being up to their knees in fenian blood and various other Ibrox favourites.

Tomorrow, families will gather to watch fully grown adults marching up and down streets to commemorate a battle that happened in a place they claim they don’t care about and want nothing to do with.

Of course if people gathered every year all over Ireland to burn union jacks the outrage and condemnation would be ferocious but the other way round is perfectly fine.

We asked Orange Order Grand Master Samuel Winterbottom to explain what exactly is it that they hate so much about pallets. He replied “Is that supposed to be funny? Fuck off you fenian bastards!”

This is the first year the BBC will not be covering the marches live on television, although when they announced they were pulling the plug, satellite channel GB News stepped in and said they would broadcast the marches live to their four viewers, so it’s not all bad news.