A horse that crossed the finish line first at Cheltenham yesterday was left devastated after being told he did not win the race. Al Capony lost his jockey Paul O’Shea at the second fence during the Sky Bet Handicap Chase but continued to run the full course, crossing the line a full 50 lengths ahead of Mister Winky in second place.
However, horses that lose their jockeys are immediately disqualified and Mister Winky was crowned the winner. Al Capony was clearly distraught and angry after being told the news and said he was sure he had won.
“This is bullshit!” said Al. “Nobody ever told me anything about having to carry your jockey over the line. If I knew that I would’ve went back for the stupid little prick.”
Capony said he was back in his stable celebrating when he heard a commentator on the radio talking about Mister Winky’s jockey Rachel Blackmore being the first woman to win the famous race.
“I thought I was hearing things. I mean seriously. It’s not fair. It’s called a horse race, not a horse and jockey race. I was so far ahead of Mister Winky I almost lapped the c*nt. Mister Wonky more like.
“And what’s all this nonsense about a woman winning the race? Did she run around the course jumping over fences while having the arse whipped off her? Did she fuck. A horse won the race. At least get that bit right. Humans are such dickheads!”