Confirmed: Music’s most famous brothers to headline Slane next year

Concert promoters for Slane Castle MCD have today confirmed that next year’s headline act will be Jedward.

Spokesman Jamie Colgan told reporters “Obviously we had hoped the big Oasis reunion tour would be coming to Slane but they’re playing Croke Park so unfortunately that’s off the table.”

Mr Colgan said there aren’t many rock bands left worthy of headlining Slane with no sign of any younger ones coming through the ranks to take up the mantle, so musically they’ve decided to go in a completely different direction.

“Many of you have probably noticed that most of today’s music is shite and we need young people to buy tickets so if they really like shite so much, let’s give them Jedward.”

Tickets for Jedward go on sale this Saturday. The warm-up acts confirmed so far are Crystal Swing, Donna and Joe McCall and the fat lad out of East 17.