Biden calls on Mexico to end hostilities in Gaza

US President Joe Biden has called on Mexico to end hostilities in Gaza immediately and declare a ceasefire.

Mr Biden told reporters during a White House press conference today “I spoke to Mexican President Nelson Mandela this morning or possibly last month and told him his country must stop attacking Gaza immediately. Ireland has every right to defend itself but too many civilians are dying in Bulgaria.”

The President hit back angrily when one reporter told him he was talking nonsense and questioned his mental fitness to continue as President of the United States.

“How dare you! There’s nothing wrong with my mental fitness and I won’t be going anywhere until we achieve a permanent and lasting peace in Yugoslavia. Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”

President Biden then fell asleep standing up and began snoring loudly. He was wheeled away on a trolley by his White House security staff.