Protesters In Washington DC Call For Black Friday To Be Followed By White Saturday

Far right protestors in the US capital have called for a national holiday once a year and for it to be called White Saturday. Spokesman Joshua Fontaine told a cheering crowd of supporters it’s time white people stood up for themselves before it’s too late.

“The government is trying to erase white culture and history from our country. It’s already started with Black Friday. What’s next? Muslim Wednesday? Hispanic Thursday? If we don’t act soon there will be no days of the week left for white people. Therefore, we hereby declare that from this day forward, Saturday November 27th will be forever be known as White Saturday!”

We spoke to Mr Fontaine after the rally and told him November 27th won’t always fall on a Saturday. Next year for example, it will be on a Sunday.

“Shut up!” he replied. “You’re fake news. Do you think you’re talking to an idiot here? What are you doing in my country anyway? Shouldn’t you be back in Ireland playing bagpipes and having tea with the Queen?”

Mr Fontaine said they intend to travel to North Dakota tomorrow to confront a Native American protest due to take place against an oil pipeline that would cut through the Standing Rock Indian Reservation. We asked him why.

“If American Indians don’t like what’s happening in America they should go back to India. Simple as that.”