Strange Hairy Man Found Wandering Around Connemara Claims He Was Once Taoiseach

Weird Hairy Man

A strange hairy man who was discovered wandering around Connemara mumbling to himself is claiming that he was once Taoiseach. Gardaí say they estimate the man’s age to be somewhere between 50 and 70 and that he goes by the name of Enda. An appeal has been launched to see if anyone recognises the man and experts say his accent would suggest that he’s probably from the arsehole of Mayo.

“We’re asking for the public’s help in identifying this man and getting him safely back to his family or care centre as soon as possible. Somebody out there must recognise him. He answers to the name of Enda and likes to say the word tremenjus a lot.”

Authorities told reporters the dishevelled looking man seems convinced that he was once Taoiseach and tried to tell them that he actually welcomed President Barack Obama and the Queen of England to the country on state visits. Dr. Tom Houlihan from the Castlebar Medical Institute said the man’s deranged ramblings clearly demonstrate that he should not be out walking around unaccompanied.

“This poor man is 100% convinced that he used to be the Taoiseach. It’s the very same as me sitting here trying to convince you that I used to be the President of Russia. Or a Hollywood movie star. He believes what he’s saying is true and for the moment there’s no point in upsetting him by telling him he’s talking shite.”

If you think you recognise Enda please call Castlebar Gardaí on 093 9038200