Strange Hairy Man Found Wandering Around Connemara Claims He Was Once Taoiseach

A strange hairy man who was discovered wandering around Connemara mumbling to himself seems convinced he used to be the Taoiseach. Gardaí say they estimate the man’s age to be somewhere between 50 and 80 and that he goes by the name of Enda. An appeal has been launched to see if anyone recognises the man and experts say his accent would suggest he’s from the arsehole of Mayo.

“We’re asking for the public’s help in identifying this man and getting him safely back to his family or care centre as soon as possible. Somebody out there must recognise him. He answers to the name of Enda and for some reason likes to say the word ‘tremenjous’ a lot.”

Authorities told reporters the dishevelled looking man seems convinced that he was once Taoiseach and tried to tell them that he actually welcomed President Barack Obama and the Queen of England to the country on state visits. Dr. Tom Houlihan from the Castlebar Medical Institute said the man’s deranged ramblings clearly demonstrate that he should not be out walking around unaccompanied.

“It’s the very same as me trying to tell everyone that I used to be the President or a Hollywood movie star except he actually believes what he’s saying is true and for the moment there’s no point in upsetting him by telling him he’s talking out of his arse.”

If you think you recognise Enda please call Castlebar Gardaí on 093 9038200