Local Man ‘Very Proud’ He Still Fits Into Size 32 Waist Jeans


A local man has told how he is very proud and surprised that he still fits into size 32 waist jeans. 54 year-old Brian Larkin from Tullamore said he’s really not sure how he has managed to stay skinny while most of his friends have gained weight over the years.

“I guess I’m just lucky. I’m a big beer drinker and I eat like a pig but my waist size never seems to change. Whenever I go clothes shopping, size 32 waist jeans fit me perfect every time. It’s amazing. I just lift up my big fat belly, close the button and then drop it back down. Sometimes I even need a belt to keep them up.”

So what does Brian put his tiny Mick Jagger-like waist down to?

“Well firstly all diets are bollocks so ignore them. I’ve never been on one in my life and look at me. If you want a waist like this I suggest drinking eight pints every Friday night. Ten on Saturdays. Avoid all salads and eat takeaways as often as possible. Oh and never exercise. That’s about it really. I want to be an inspiration to others and if my story helps just one person out there to get down to a size 32 waist, my job here is done. Your stomach will be absolutely enormous of course but who gives a shit about that?”