Trump To Tackle Gun Violence By Making It Harder To Buy Video Games


The President of the only country on Earth that has regular mass shootings has vowed to end gun violence by making it harder to buy video games and not guns. Donald Trump was commenting on America’s most recent massacres where 30 people were murdered after being killed with guns, not video games.

The President also blamed mental illness and the internet. Of course every other country in the world also has mental illness, the internet and video games but for some reason a distinct lack of mass shootings.

While speaking to journalists, the President had no idea if either of the killers involved ever played a video game in their lives. The only thing for certain at this stage is that they both walked into a store and bought a gun because that’s the American way.

One journalist we spoke to put the President’s comments blaming video games into perspective when he told us “I lived in Japan for 5 years as Tokyo correspondent for Online News. Japan is the video games capital of the world. They’re addicted to playing video games. I covered zero mass shootings in my 5 years there. Zero! Not one. You know why? Because you can’t walk into a store and buy a fucking gun, that’s why!”

Despite everything, America’s insane gun laws are set to remain unchanged as millions of mentally challenged morons think it should be a right to be able to buy machine guns and high-velocity assault weapons that are designed specifically to kill lots of people very quickly.

President Trump meanwhile said he’ll release a list of the video games he wants banned after America’s next mass shooting in a day or two.