Vegan Food Actually Horrible, Admit Vegans

Vegan

A local vegan has caused controversy and sparked a debate within the vegan community by claiming that all vegan food is horrible. Gemma Horan from Tullamore made her comments on Facebook after leaving a vegan restaurant last night adding “I’ve never felt more like shoving a Big Mac down me gob than I do right now.”

Gemma said “I went out to dinner last night with my local vegan group and honestly, I might as well have gone out to the back garden and got down on my hands and knees and started eating the lawn. What they served me I wouldn’t even give to my pet rabbit Mr. Fluffy. Awful shite so it was. I’ve been unhappy with the vegan diet for a while and I think last night was the final straw which ironically is what my main course tasted like. A plate of straw.”



Gemma’s comments received a huge backlash on social media but surprisingly also some support from many fellow vegans. John Daly from Dublin seemed to share her views.

“She’s right lads. Who are we kidding? It’s pure shite! There’s only so much hamster food a man can take. And don’t even bother mentioning vegan sausages because we all know they taste like lumps of cardboard wrapped in rubber johnnies. And what the hell is tofu? Some of this stuff can’t even legally be called food. That’s it for me. I’m done! I’m heading to JD’s Steakhouse right now to devour half a cow. Who’s with me?”

Chairman of the Irish Vegan Society Tom Griffin hit back however saying vegans just need to vary their diet to keep things interesting.

“There are plenty of tasty options out there for vegans so there’s really no excuse for anyone to eat meat in this day and age. Just pick up a good vegan cookbook and come and join us. I promise you won’t regret it. You too can live a life of chronic malnourishment lacking in protein and vitamins while permanently feeling weak and dizzy and looking like shit so what are you waiting for?”