Manchester United In Talks With Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Manchester United have opened talks with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with regards to him returning to the club as manager. The Norwegian was sacked last month after a dreadful run of results but the fortunes of the team have not changed since his departure and many pundits have described last night’s performance against Newcastle as their worst in years.

The club’s owner Joel Glazer confirmed contact has been made with Solskjaer but said they may have some grovelling to do.

“As Ole tried to tell us many times, it looks like it was the players all along, not the manager. Maguire’s shit. McTominay, shit. Fernandez, shit. Fred, absolute fucking shit. Ronaldo, past its sell-by-date shit. Shaw, a fat piece of shit. Basically they’re all shit.”

We contacted Solskjaer and asked him if he’s considering a return to Old Trafford.

He told us “Yes but only if the board and the owners suck my hairy Norwegian balls. That’s my offer. I await their reply.”