Huge Increase In Spending On Defence Forces As Irish Army To Get Two New Shotguns

The Minister for Defence will recommend a huge increase in the defence budget at a Cabinet meeting later today. Simon Coveney will ask colleagues to increase defence force spending from the current €500 per year to a staggering €1,000.

“The Russian invasion of Ukraine has taken us all by surprise.” Mr Coveney told reporters. “The world has changed and we have to be ready for any eventuality. There’s two shotguns on Done Deal for €1,200 but I think I can haggle your man down to a grand.”

One reporter told the Minister that decent shotguns cost around a thousand each so these ones must be shite.

“Who do you think we are, the US Marines?” replied Mr Coveney. “We can’t be spending that sort of cash. Besides, we need to keep some money for a box of cartridges.”

If the cabinet agrees with the Minister’s recommendations, this will be the largest investment in the Irish defence forces in the history of the State.

Mr Coveney promised that the Irish navy will eventually also benefit from the spending spree and said that in the coming years, the government intends to purchase a brand new state of the art life jacket.