U.S. President Donald Trump has tested positive for Gobshitis. Mr. Trump’s personal physician Dr. Brad Johnson carried out the test yesterday and confirmed the news at a press conference in Washington last night.
“I have suspected it for some time and now, unfortunately, after carrying out several tests, I can confirm to the American people that President Trump is officially a gobshite.”
The news will probably come as no surprise to many Americans who have been claiming for several years that Trump is a gobshite.
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar sent his condolences and support to the President on behalf of the Irish people and wished him a speedy recovery.
“As you all know I was in Washington last week and spent several hours in the company of President Trump so as a precaution I will now have myself tested for Gobshitis.
We spoke to Dr. Luke Molloy of the Institute for Scientific Research and he told us that in his opinion there is no need for tests to be carried out on Mr. Varadkar.
“I’ve never met the guy but I know all the symptoms and I can tell you with absolute certainty that Leo Varadkar has full blown Gobshitis and for that there is no vaccine.”