Kim Jong-un has offered Donald Trump and his family asylum in North Korea. The two leaders became good friends in recent years and Kim told reporters it’s the decent thing to do.
“It tears me apart to see what they’re doing to him. This is what can happen when you allow people to vote. They vote for the other guy. It’s such a flawed system. Donald is a friend and we have many things in common. He has as much contempt for democracy as I do so he’s really going to love it here. And I’ve promised him a lifetime supply of orange fake tan.”
The North Korean leader said he can’t believe Trump has allowed things to go this far and claimed that if he had just phoned him for advice he wouldn’t be in this mess.
“I’ve been watching the whole thing, from the televised debates to the election results and in my opinion he’s handled everything all wrong. As soon as Joe Biden was named as his rival he should have just had the guy shot. Whenever a newsreader said Biden had won, he should have had the newsreader and his family shot. And so on. I find it’s a very effective way of dealing with things. Basically you just have everyone shot.”
Mr. Trump has not yet responded to the offer but his wife Melania said she thinks it’s a great idea and has offered to pack her husband’s bags and personally drive him to the airport.