Nation That’s Always Wishing It Was Warmer Says That’s Too Feckin’ Warm

The people of Ireland, who are forever cursing the wet and windy Irish weather and wishing it was warmer, are almost unanimously in agreement that it’s currently too fecking warm.

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year and Met √Čireann has issued a High Temperature Advisory, valid from 12pm today until 12pm Friday. Thermal underwear and umbrellas have been replaced by an unexpected outbreak of sweaty arses and soggy jocks.

All over Ireland people began the weekend washing bird shite off garden furniture as barbecues sizzled and inflatable pools were filled with water but by late afternoon many had began seeking shade indoors and complaining about the heat.

“That’s horrible weather.” tweeted Brian from Dublin. “How can anyone be expected to sit outside in that? It’s ridiculous.”

Martin from Kilkenny agreed, posting “It’s usually too cold but now it’s too warm. Why is it always too something?”

Meanwhile TD’s have voted to begin their six weeks summer holidays immediately to take advantage of the good weather and agreed that all government business can get fucked until September.