In a surprise move that nobody was expecting and while their enemies were waiting for an attack on the Afghan capital Kabul, the Taliban sailed up the river Shannon in the early hours of this morning and took Limerick city without encountering any resistance.
The group immediately took control of the RTE Lyric FM studios in the city and made their demands known.
“We saw Prime Time documentary about Limerick city and we have come for your horses. Give them to us or we take them by force. Also while we are here we wish to see all the locations from Angela’s Ashes, as a reminder of how terrible life can be in the west. I mean honestly, some of us share caves with rats but my God that looked grim. How can people live that that?”
Taoiseach Micheál Martin said that when he was made aware of what was happening he ordered all members of the Irish armed forces to report for duty immediately. Unfortunately both of them are currently on holidays in Spain.