Weather Warning Downgraded From ‘Status Yellow’ To ‘Fierce Cold’

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Met Éireann has issued a ‘Fierce Cold’ weather warning for the whole country for the next couple of days with some counties also expected to be pounded by gentle breezes. The previous ‘Status Yellow’ warning was downgraded after it turned out to be a load of shite.

We put it to Brian Gallagher of Met Eireann that because they get their forecasts wrong so often, people are right to claim that they have no idea what they’re talking about.

“That’s not fair.” he told us. “There were some very wintery conditions in the west yesterday. A woman in Ennis was found in a distressed state after her hat blew off and a boat from the Aran Islands to the mainland was well over five minutes late. Absolute carnage!”

People are being advised to stay indoors today and to venture outside only for essential journeys like if they need to go to school or work, or to go to the shops to buy stuff or if they feel like taking a nice walk.