‘Nah, Fuck Sober October, It’s The Weekend!’ Friends Agree

A couple of friends who promised themselves a ‘Sober October’ this year have had a complete rethink and decided it was the worst idea of their entire lives.

Brian Healy and Tom McGowan from Tullamore decided to go sober for October last Sunday morning after they both woke up with stinking hangovers. However it seems their plans have already gone up in smoke.

Brain spent all this week thinking about his first Friday night in years not going for a pint and said he will never torture himself like that again.

“Feck that! My fingernails are all gone. As soon as I finished them I started eating my toe-nails. Sober October was the worst four days of my life and I’m never doing it again. I mean seriously, who doesn’t have a drink on a Friday night? It’s just not normal.”

Tom decided to pop down to his local last night just to experience what it’s like to spend an evening in the pub not drinking.

“It’s not easy I’ll tell you that. For a start I couldn’t even decide between a soft drink like a coke or lemonade or one of those non-alcoholic beers. I really couldn’t make my mind up at all so in the end I just had 8 pints of Carlsberg instead.”

People who had planned to go through with Sober October but now realise they won’t even make it past this weekend are advised to go for something more realistic next year. Like maybe Sober Tuesday or something.