A local man who was leaving the bathroom as a female work colleague was entering is really hoping she knows that horrendous stink was nothing to do with him. 19 year-old Brian McGuire swears it was already there when he went in but said he just knows she’s going to think it was him.
“Of course she will. I’m the one she saw leaving but I swear to God I had nothing to do with it. Someone obviously just left before I went in but I didn’t see who it was. I bet you any money it was Big Dave. You should see what he eats at break time. The man’s an animal.”
Brian said his heart sank when he saw the girl in question entering the bathroom as he was leaving and he considered diving back in again and hiding but he knew there was no point as she’d already seen him.
“She’s the new girl too. And she’s really pretty. I was just starting to get on really well with her and to be honest I was working my way up to asking her out for a drink. Now she’ll never look at me the same again. This is a disaster.”
We told Big Dave about Brian’s predicament and asked him if he thought he might have been the source of the smell.
“Yeah, that was me.” he laughed. “With everything I eat there’s no telling from one day to the next what’s gonna come out of my arse. He’s right about another thing too. She will never look at him the same again. I told her it was him and that his nickname is Shits McGuire. Lol.”