Slane Running Out Of Bands As Most New Music Shite

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Concert promoters at Slane Castle have admitted they’re running out of potential headline acts for the famous venue as most of today’s music is shite.

Organisers say there aren’t many rock stars under 60 left worthy of headlining Slane with no sign of any younger ones coming through the ranks to take up the mantle.

Spokesman David Molloy told us “An Oasis reunion would sell out but that’s unlikely and there’s not much else out there so what do we do? Have you seen the absolute state of today’s charts? Someone featuring someone. Someone else featuring someone else. Who are these people? Can they play live? Would we sell any tickets? Are the Rolling Stones still alive?”



Promoters MCG have today confirmed that the current frontrunner to headline next year is holograms of Nirvana playing a concert in 1992.