Irish singer Sinéad O’Connor has become a Hindu after spending just a few days as a Muslim. The troubled star said she thought Islam was the religion for her until she suddenly discovered one aspect of being a Muslim that she wasn’t previously aware of.
“Did you know those people don’t drink? Why didn’t anyone tell me Muslims don’t drink? I mean seriously, I know I’ve had mental health issues but sweet mother of Jaysus I haven’t gone completely fucking mad.”
Leaving Islam is sometimes not quite as simple as leaving other religions and Sinéad may find that she has a few problems. Under Sharia law it’s actually punishable by death but of course the more moderate Islamic teachers don’t believe in going that far.
“Oh come on we’re not that bad.” laughed Imam Ali Bin Mustafi of the Dublin Islamic Centre. “I guess Islam just wasn’t the right fit for Sinéad. We’d like to wish her all the best in her new religion. No hard feelings at all. I mean if she wants to burn in the flames of hell for all eternity and go back to being a Satan loving infidel whore then that’s her business. But like I said, no hard feelings.”
Meanwhile the Hari Krishna Society of Ireland have decided to shut down their temple in Dublin and pull out of the country with immediate effect after strong rumours began circulating that they’re next on the singer’s list.