‘Nah, Fuck It!’ World Leaders Agree Not To Bother Saving Planet

World leaders have agreed not to save the planet as it would be too much hassle.

Nearly 200 nations came together for the COP26 summit in Glasgow to combat climate change but after two weeks of painful negotiations, they all decided to just piss off home and forget about it as there are far better things they could be doing with their time.

Scientists are in agreement that the COP26 negotiations have done nothing to avoid climate disaster. Environmental activist Greta Thunberg said it’s very disappointing but not unexpected.

“What a shocker. Who could have guessed that when the photo-calls and speeches were over and it was time to put their words into action the world’s leaders would do fuck all? Oh I’m so shocked.”

The Swedish activist also surprisingly told reporters that maybe this isn’t a bad thing.

“Have you seen some of the people on this planet? I mean seriously. Harvey Weinstein. Kim Yong-un. Nigel Farage. That Donald Trump cunt and his vile offspring. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t deserve saving. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to fly home on a fuel guzzling jet where I shall spend the rest of my life eating cows and burning coal. I’m done with this shit.”