RTE Staff Fed Up With Eileen’s Fart Pranks

Eileen

RTE staff who work on the 9 O’Clock News are so fed up with the antics of newsreader Eileen Dunne that they are threatening strike action. It is alleged that the presenter purposely stinks the studio up every evening as they go live to the nation just for a laugh.

“She thinks it’s hilarious.” said 44 year-old cameraman David O’Malley who agreed to speak to us if we didn’t reveal his name. “Every night, regular as clockwork, as soon as we go live she starts squeezing out the old ‘silent but deadlies’ if you know what I mean.”



It’s a far cry from the image of the sophisticated broadcaster most people have but some RTE insiders believe it’s time the public got to know the truth.

Floor manager Denise McGuire – who also asked not to be named – told us “I’m sure the people of Ireland think she’s the perfect lady but let me tell you something, that one has an arse like a machine gun. She seems to be able to fire them off at will. What the hell does she eat?”

As difficult as it is for staff behind the cameras to work in such a poisonous environment, it’s even worse for her fellow newsreaders. Sports presenter Paul O’Flynn appeared to be gagging to the point of almost vomiting while trying to read the football results on last night’s programme. Dunne could clearly be seen in the background laughing hysterically.

She likes to surprise guests live on air too. Last Friday night viewers watched Eileen interview President Michael D. Higgins in the studio. During the discussion she launched a floater in his direction and the President’s face appeared to turn green as he struggled to keep himself composed while the sniggering presenter looked on in delight.

So next time you’re watching the 9 O’Clock News and you notice the other presenters or guests acting a little strange, it’s probably because Eileen Dunne has just popped a fluffy and they’re gagging in an invisible cloud of foulness we can only imagine.