Britain’s Royal Wedding turned into a Royal Rumble yesterday as hundreds of drunken guests got involved in a massive punch up. Chairs and bottles went flying through the air as Prince Harry was seen sticking the boot into several guests who were on the ground. Patrick Dempsey is a musician with the band who were hired for the reception and he explained what happened.
“I could tell there was a rowdy atmosphere as soon as we started playing. Everyone seemed very drunk and people were bumping into each other on the dance floor. Then some fella spilled his pint all over Meghan’s dress and Prince Harry told him to apologise. He refused and called Harry ginger bollocks. Then it all kicked off.”
Witnesses described a mass brawl that spilled out into the beer garden and had several guests diving for cover. Lady Penelope Kensington is a first cousin of Prince Charles and she said everyone seemed to be having a good time but then suddenly the place went mental.
“Charles was doing his best to break it up but it was useless. He was trying to hold Prince Harry back but by then Harry was out of control and was laying the boot into the guy who had called him ginger bollocks. When he was finished with him he just started kicking and punching anyone he could get his hands on.”
Manager of the Windsor Hotel Simon Wilson told reporters that he’s not taking any more Royal Wedding bookings for the foreseeable future.
“It’s always the same story with these pricks and I’m sick of it. If they can’t behave themselves they’re not welcome in our establishment. They’re not like the rest of us and I don’t care if people are offended by that because it’s the truth. They’re worse than fucking travellers.”