No Increase In The Price Of A Pint You Can’t Buy

There was good news for some in the budget today after it was announced that there will be no increase in the price of a pint you can’t buy in a pub that’s not open.

Many punters had feared the government would increase the price of their beloved pint to make up for the loss in revenue in alcohol sales due to the lockdown however they decided against it in order to help publicans get customers back into the pubs they just closed down.

As expected, oppostion leaders have slammed the budget as not going far enough but Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe said it was never going to be easy to please everyone during these unprecedented and extremely difficult times for our country.

“There’s always going to be someone moaning about the budget no matter what you announce. Lets be honest, Mary-Lou wrote her speech saying how terrible it is weeks ago when she didn’t even know what was going to be in it. Besides, it doesn’t really matter how much I balls things up ‘coz I get to blame everything on Covid and Brexit. Lol.”