Many young women today are completely oblivious to the fact that not only does pouting not look sexy, it actually makes their face look exactly like a baboon’s bum hole. That’s according to fashion expert and make-up queen Suzy Sherlock who was in Dublin this week for the launch of her new make-up range at Brown Thomas on Grafton street. Britain’s most successful style icon had a few choice words for today’s trout-pout generation while talking to reporters.
“I’ve been trying to figure out what it reminds me of for a while.” she explained, “Then I was on safari in Africa last month when all these baboons jumped onto our car and stuck their big red arses up against the window. Suddenly it dawned on me. It was just like looking at a photo of my teenage daughter and her friends on a night out. Honestly it was uncanny.”
Things have gotten so bad that it seems most girls are now actually incapable of taking a photograph without pouting. Figures from the Irish Passport Office in Dublin show that a staggering 86% of passport applications last year from young women were rejected on the grounds that they did not have a ‘neutral expression’ in the accompanying photograph.
“I’ve never seen anything like it.” said Adam Molloy who processes passport applications. “I couldn’t understand why we were being sent all these photos of baboon’s arses until someone pointed out to me that it was actually girls pouting.”
The Department of Foreign Affairs who have responsibility for issuing passports released an official statement today on behalf of the government saying that friends and family members of girls who insist on pouting for photographs can go ahead and give them a good slap without fear of arrest or prosecution.