Many young women in Ireland today are completely oblivious to the fact that not only does pouting not make them look sexy, it actually makes them look like a baboon’s bumhole. That’s according to fashion expert and make-up queen Diane Yardley who was in Dublin this week for the launch of her new make-up range at Brown Thomas on Grafton street. Britain’s most successful style icon had a few choice words for today’s trout-pout generation while talking to reporters.
“It’s become a worldwide epidemic.” she explained. “I see it on social media every day. How can anyone think that’s a good look? I’ve been trying to figure out what it reminds me of for a while. Then I was on safari in Africa last month and when all these baboons jumped onto our car and stuck their big red arses against the window it suddenly dawned on me. It was just like looking at a photo of my teenage daughter and her friends on a night out. Honestly it was uncanny.”
Things have gotten so bad that it seems most girls are now actually incapable of taking a photograph without pouting. Figures from the Irish Passport Office in Dublin show that a staggering 86% of passport applications last year from young women were rejected on the grounds that they did not have a ‘neutral expression’ in the accompanying photograph.
“I’ve never seen anything like it.” said John Daly who processes passport applications. “It’s like we’re being sent a non-stop barrage of pictures of baboon’s arses.”
Meanwhile for any of our readers who aren’t sure what a baboon’s arse looks like here’s a picture of a baboon showing you his arse.