Pope Calls Trump A Bollocks

Pope Francis caused a huge media storm yesterday when he called the President of the United States a bollocks in front of shocked onlookers. The pair were meeting in Rome to discuss Mr. Trump’s upcoming meeting with North Korean leader Kim Yong-un. There were several other dignitaries and a number of reporters in the room and Mr. Trump was explaining at length to the Pope America’s position on North Korea and how he believes the meeting should be approached. During this whole time the Pope just stared at Mr. Trump without replying until eventually interrupting him with “You’re some bollocks!”

A gasp was heard in the room and those present waited to see how the U.S. President would respond as photographers kept snapping. However it quickly became clear that Mr. Trump had never heard the word bollocks before and had no idea he had just been dissed and burned by the Pope. Trump simply nodded and smiled and said “Thank you very much Holy Father.”

It’s a little known fact but as a young man Pope Francis lived in Dublin for a short period of time at the Jesuit Centre in Milltown. He stayed in Ireland for less than a year but in that time became virtually fluent in English. It’s because of this that whenever the Pope speaks English, he does so in a Dublin accent and he seems to have picked up quite a bit of local slang too. Only last month during a meeting with British Prime Minister Theresa May he responded to her invitation to visit the UK by telling her “I will in me hole.” The Pontiff was later overheard describing Mrs. May to friends as “an absolute geebag”.

Meanwhile at a press conference back in Rome President Trump also used the occasion to update reporters on the progress of the wall he intends to build along the Mexican border, telling them that the design is now in the final stages and that he believes the wall will be built and completely finished by the end of 2020. Mexican President Enrique Nieto welcomed the announcement saying he intends to have his tunnel under the wall finished around the same time.