Nearly Half Of All Airline Pilots Terrified Of Flying


A study has found that nearly half of all airline pilots who fly passenger planes are terrified of flying. The results are sure to come as a shock to regular flyers who until now could never have imagined that the people in the cockpit flying the plane might actually have a fear of flying.

We spoke to two pilots based in Dublin airport who agreed to an interview on condition of anonymity. We don’t know what that means so we started by asking Captain James Conroy if he believes the results of the study are true.

“Oh God yeah.” he told us. “Landing is the worst for me. I can’t bare to look. I always close my eyes when we’re about to touch down. How do the tyres not burst?”

His colleague Captain John Donegan has been flying passengers all over Europe for more than 10 years now but he told us the more he flies the more nervous he gets.

“Turbulence freaks me the fuck out. I mean seriously, what the hell is that? It’s invisible! Whenever it happens I start praying to Jesus and swigging from a flask of whiskey I always have stashed under my seat. I hate flying. I should’ve been a train driver. Trains don’t fall out of the sky.”

The study also found that most pilots worry about crashing into the sun and many believe scary sky monsters are hiding in the clouds.