Local Man Disappointed He Won’t Get To Make A Cunt Of Himself At Office Party This Year

A local man has told of his disappointment that he won’t get the chance to make a total cunt of himself yet again at his office Christmas party this year. Brian O’Connor from Tullamore has a history of getting absolutely shitfaced at the annual shindig but due to Covid restrictions the company he works for have cancelled this year’s party. We asked Brian what sort of antics he usually gets up to?

“Oh all the classics. I’ve fallen on top of people. Knocked over tables of drink. Got into fights. Tried to put my tongue in the barmaid’s mouth while she served me. Fell asleep in the corner and pissed myself. And that was just last year.”

Brian’s co-worker Kevin Flanagan said his shenanigans are the highlight of the party every year and the company even has a WhatsApp group dedicated to sharing photos and videos of what he did at previous parties.

“We usually take bets on what he’ll do next. He really does embarrass the shite out of himself. Poor Brian. In one way I feel sorry for him but in another way I don’t ‘coz it’s funny. Having said that he doesn’t seem to give a shit.”

Brian said he feels bad for letting his fans down this year but promised to make it up to them next year by getting really drunk and punching his boss in the face before falling asleep under a table and doing a humongous scutter in his underpants.