Three Fuckin’ Eejits Badly Gored During Pamplona Bull Run

Three fuckin’ eejits were badly gored and a further two gobshites suffered serious head trauma during the first day of Spain’s best-known bull-running festival in the northern town of Pamplona yesterday morning.

One stupid bastard was loaded into an ambulance on a stretcher shortly after the dash through the medieval town centre’s narrow streets to the bullring, which lasted just over two minutes. A total of 53 absolute gowls were treated by the Red Cross.

Authorities said in a statement that those hurt included two US citizens (oh what a surprise) and a Spaniard, who was injured in his left thigh. Local media reports say one of the dopey cunts gored is in a very serious condition.



Thousands of dimwits, dressed head to toe in white with red neckerchiefs, gather every year for the traditional morning run, after which the bulls are kept in a bullring until the afternoon ‘fights’ when they are slowly tortured to death by being repeatedly stabbed with spears.

16 gobshites have been killed in the event over the years, the last one in 2009. Locals and tourists alike will join in the 8am run every morning this week until Sunday. It is hoped a few more of them will get the sharp end of a bull’s horn rammed up their holes so they might have a rethink about what they’re doing with their lives and cop the fuck on.