Chris Rea Confirms He’s Driving Home For Christmas “Covid Or No F***ing Covid”
There was good news for lovers of traditional Christmas songs today after singer Chris Rea confirmed he’ll be driving home for Christmas again this year, […]
Spiteful Trump Orders White House Staff Not To Flush The Toilets Anymore
Outgoing American President Donald Trump has ordered White House staff not to flush the toilets anymore after they’ve had a shite. Trump is said to […]
Trump’s Concession Speech To Be Broadcast Live From His New Residence
Donald Trump’s concession speech will be broadcast live across America and the world from his new residence, the Crest Hills Psychiatric Hospital in Washington DC. […]
Trump Calls For All Americans Who Didn’t Vote For Him To Be Deported
President Donald Trump has called for all Americans who didn’t vote for him to be deported from the United States. The President was talking to […]
Traveller Challenges Islamic State To A Fight
A member of the travelling community has challenged so-called Islamic State to a fight. 27 year-old Davey Joyce from Galway said recent Islamist terror attacks […]
Local Man ‘Very Proud’ He Still Fits Into Size 32 Waist Jeans
A local man has told how he is very proud and surprised that he still fits into size 32 waist jeans. 54 year-old Brian Larkin […]
Gemma O’Doherty Suspected Of Having Mad Cow Disease
Outspoken conspiracy theorist Gemma O’Doherty may have Mad Cow Disease and is probably also a super spreader. That’s according to Professor Philip McIntyre from the […]
Met Eireann: Weekend Weather To Be Mixed But Mostly Shite
After some unusually mild weather for this time of year over recent weeks, Met Eireann say conditions for the coming weekend will be mixed but […]
On The Spot Fines For Parents Who Give Their Kids Terrible Haircuts
The government confirmed today that Gardaí will be given special emergency powers to issue on the spot fines to parents who give their children terrible […]
NPHET Recommends Demolishing All Pubs
The National Public Health Emergency Team, better known as NPHET, has recommended demolishing every pub in Ireland to help stop the spread of Covid-19. The […]