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Local Man Disappointed He Won’t Get To Make A Cunt Of Himself At Office Party This Year

December 14, 2020 Ringo 0

A local man has told of his disappointment that he won’t get the chance to make a total cunt of himself yet again at his […]

NPHET Recommends Making Restaurant Customers Wear Masks Between Mouthfuls

December 14, 2020 Ringo 0

NPHET have said people dining in restaurants should have to wear face masks between each mouthful while eating their meals. The group set up to […]

40 A-Day Chain Smoker Refuses To Wear Mask ‘Coz It’s Bad For Her Asthma

December 8, 2020 Ringo 0

A local woman who smokes 40 cigarettes a day has said she will never wear a facemask because it’s bad for her asthma. 45 year-old […]

GAA Investigate Claims Dublin Have Been Playing With 20 Players For The Past 10 Years

December 6, 2020 Ringo 0

Dublin’s footballing superiority is in doubt today after GAA officials confirmed they are looking into credible evidence the current All- Ireland champions have actually been […]

grump

‘My Tree Isn’t Up Yet So Nobody’s Should Be’ Says Local Grumpy Bastard

December 1, 2020 Ringo 0

A local grumpy bastard has claimed that nobody should have their Christmas tree up yet because he doesn’t have his up. Noel Coughlan from Tullamore […]

Taoiseach

Government Set To Reveal Christmas Covid Rules That Will Be Ignored By Everyone

November 27, 2020 Ringo 0

The government is set to announce a new set of Covid rules later today that will be ignored by pretty much everybody in the country. […]

NPHET Admit They Just Don’t Like Pubs

November 25, 2020 Ringo 0

Members of the group set up to advise the government on how to handle the coronavirus pandemic have admitted they just don’t like pubs. Since […]

lights

New Law Means People Who Say ‘Crimbo’ Can Legally Be Punched In The Face

November 24, 2020 Ringo 0

Emergency legislation passed by the government yesterday means people who say the word ‘Crimbo’ instead of Christmas can be punched in the face by anyone […]

Calls For Santa Claus To Be Rebranded As Gender Neutral

November 23, 2020 Ringo 0

A survey has found that more than a third of people think Santa Claus should be rebranded as a gender neutral person. Some magazine we’ve […]

Trump

President Trump Not Yet Ready To Admit That He’s A Lying Sack Of Shit

November 19, 2020 Ringo 0

President Donald Trump has shown that he is not yet ready to admit that he’s a lying sack of shit after he fired his own […]

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