Local Man Disappointed He Won’t Get To Make A Cunt Of Himself At Office Party This Year
A local man has told of his disappointment that he won’t get the chance to make a total cunt of himself yet again at his […]
NPHET Recommends Making Restaurant Customers Wear Masks Between Mouthfuls
NPHET have said people dining in restaurants should have to wear face masks between each mouthful while eating their meals. The group set up to […]
40 A-Day Chain Smoker Refuses To Wear Mask ‘Coz It’s Bad For Her Asthma
A local woman who smokes 40 cigarettes a day has said she will never wear a facemask because it’s bad for her asthma. 45 year-old […]
GAA Investigate Claims Dublin Have Been Playing With 20 Players For The Past 10 Years
Dublin’s footballing superiority is in doubt today after GAA officials confirmed they are looking into credible evidence the current All- Ireland champions have actually been […]
‘My Tree Isn’t Up Yet So Nobody’s Should Be’ Says Local Grumpy Bastard
A local grumpy bastard has claimed that nobody should have their Christmas tree up yet because he doesn’t have his up. Noel Coughlan from Tullamore […]
Government Set To Reveal Christmas Covid Rules That Will Be Ignored By Everyone
The government is set to announce a new set of Covid rules later today that will be ignored by pretty much everybody in the country. […]
NPHET Admit They Just Don’t Like Pubs
Members of the group set up to advise the government on how to handle the coronavirus pandemic have admitted they just don’t like pubs. Since […]
New Law Means People Who Say ‘Crimbo’ Can Legally Be Punched In The Face
Emergency legislation passed by the government yesterday means people who say the word ‘Crimbo’ instead of Christmas can be punched in the face by anyone […]
Calls For Santa Claus To Be Rebranded As Gender Neutral
A survey has found that more than a third of people think Santa Claus should be rebranded as a gender neutral person. Some magazine we’ve […]
President Trump Not Yet Ready To Admit That He’s A Lying Sack Of Shit
President Donald Trump has shown that he is not yet ready to admit that he’s a lying sack of shit after he fired his own […]