Opinion Poll Shows Opinion Polls Are Complete Horseshit

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Opinion polls carried out by two leading newspapers on the same day have revealed results that are the total opposite of each other proving that opinion polls are complete and utter horseshit. The Irish Times said their poll shows Fine Gael 20 points ahead of Fianna Fáil while the Irish Independent said their poll shows Fianna Fáil 20 points ahead of Fine Gael. Another poll carried out by An Phoblacht has Sinn Féin 100 points ahead of everyone with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil both on zero points.

The results prove yet again what many political commentators have been saying for years, that opinion polls are meaningless, pointless bullshit and a complete waste of time.



Polls in the USA during the last presidential election showed Hillary Clinton way ahead of Donald Trump and in Britain all opinion polls leading up to the Brexit referendum said the UK would vote to remain in the European Union.

Political analyst Jeffrey Cummins told us “It is a purely mathematical construct so unrepresentative samples and statistical margins of error wildly misrepresent outcomes and can be colossal perennial dilemmas.”

We asked him what the hell he was babbling on about and he explained “Opinion Polls are complete horseshit.”