Government To Allow Just One Customer Per Pub After Lockdown

The group set up to advise the government during the coronavirus pandemic has recommended allowing just one customer per pub whenever they get to reopen. NPHET spokesman Dr. Ronan Glynn made the announcement during this morning’s press briefing and explained how it will work.

“All pubs in Ireland will be permitted to serve only one customer per day. If that customer happens to leave after just one drink, well that’s just tough. You’ve had your one customer and you’re done for the day. I have spoken.”

We asked Dr. Glynn for how long exactly after lockdown do pubs have to keep the number of customers they serve down to just one?

“Well when I said after lockdown I meant any time in the future that occurs after lockdown. So forever. All the days, weeks, months and years that happen in the future will be after lockdown. Obviously. I would’ve thought that was clear. I mean they won’t be before lockdown will they? Honestly, sometimes I wonder about you people. You’re lucky you’ve got me to run things.”

Taoiseach Micheál Martin said the government is giving Dr. Glynn’s recommendations serious consideration, adding “If we want to prevent a fourth wave of the virus spreading we must continue to ban all indoor gatherings.”

Because school obviously takes place outdoors, doesn’t it Micheál?