The National Public Health Emergency Team (Nphet) has issued new guidelines it hopes all families in the country will follow for this year’s Christmas dinner.
Dr Tony Holohan said new variants call for new rules and if people know what’s good for them they’ll do what they’re told.
“Everyone dining together must wear full hazmat suit, mask and gloves. Masks must not be removed at any time and there should be no talking during dinner. Or eating. Just sniff the food through your mask and then put it back on your plate.”
Dr Holohan also said the protective clothing is not just for during Christmas dinner.
“Your personal protective equipment must not be removed at any time over the Christmas holiday period including while in bed sleeping or taking a shower. Never take it off. Remember, we’ll be watching.”
Dr Holohan admitted he’s surprised with how things have turned around in recent weeks and thought NPHET’s days were numbered.
“It looked like we were going to have to break up a few weeks ago. You thought you’d seen the last of us didn’t you? Well we’re back and just like Boyzone and Westlife, we’re also never going to feck off.”
NPHET also confirmed they will be recommending in January that the government has everyone in the country sealed into their homes for the first six months of next year.