A team of scientists from Cambridge University in England have found that men who don’t watch football are extremely weird individuals and shouldn’t be trusted. Dr. John McIntyre was in charge of the study and he said it’s the first research of its kind ever carried out and the results are both compelling and indisputable.
“For over a year now we’ve been studying men from all over the world who have no interest whatsoever in football. What we found is that regardless of culture or background there is one particular personality trait that they all share. Absolute weirdos every last one of them.”
Dr. McIntyre said it’s usually quite easy to spot men who don’t like football.
“They tend to be loners and socially awkward individuals who live on the fringes of society, just like Hitler. He also hated football so it’s really not advisable to become friends with one of these freaks.”
What should people do if they come into contact with a man who has no interest in football?
“If you see a man walking by your house during tonight’s match for example, I’d recommend throwing something at him, something heavy obviously or better still if you have a vicious dog, set the dog on him. The fewer of these oddballs in society the better so play your part. Fucking weirdos.”