Newcastle United To Buy Entire Manchester City Squad & Manager

The new owners of Newcastle United are preparing to buy the entire current Manchester City squad and their manager Pep Guardiola.

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman said he knows the incredible offer would be a first for football but he believes he can strike a deal with Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan bin Zayed bin Khalifa Al Nahyan.

“I like Sheikh Mansour. Not only does he have a hilariously long name, he also has as much respect for human rights as I do, lol. But seriously though, I always get what I want and this deal makes sense for all involved. We get a new squad and a world class manager and Mansour gets to keep his head.”

The Crown Prince also said he believes it would be a great move for Pep Guardiola.

“I think Pep will see the sense in this. He will have everything he has at Manchester City except he won’t have to beg the fans to turn up at Newcastle. Lol. The Emptyhad. Hilarious. No but seriously though, this deal happens or people die.”