Scientists have confirmed that an Irish variant of Covid-19 has been discovered and said those infected have reported symptoms similar to feeling slightly drunk and an overwhelming urge to start singing Irish rebel songs.
Dr. Jamie Colgan from the Institute of Scientific Research examined several people who have contracted the Irish variant but said it was difficult to talk to them about their symptoms as they would constantly break into Come Out Ye Black & Tans during the examination.
“I can confirm that we are now dealing with an Irish variant of Covid-19 and it is spreading around the country. And for some reason in the Kilburn and Cricklewood areas of North London.
“It is not particularly aggressive but highly infectious and the majority of people who become infected report a strange longing for a bit of craic and a session. There is no evidence the Irish variant causes serious illness, apart from a throbbing headache the next morning and a craving for a jumbo breakfast roll. Unfortunately we expect a huge increase in people reporting these symptoms over the long weekend.”