Athlone Town Call Press Conference To Make Major Announcement



Within the last few minutes Jose Mourinho has been confirmed as the new manager of League of Ireland division one strugglers Athlone Town. The controversial Portugueser wasted no time in getting straight back into football having being sacked only this morning by Manchester United.

Mourinho told a hastily arranged press conference it’s a dream come true.

“Even when things were going well for me at Old Trafford and at Inter Milan I must admit that in the back of my mind I was always dreaming that one day I would be the boss of Athlone Town. This is why you become a football manager. To test yourself on the biggest stage of all, the League of Ireland First Division.”

Mourinho said he can’t wait to move his family to the Irish midlands and to immerse himself in the local culture.

“Growing up in Portugal you read about places like Kilbeggan and Moate but don’t dare to dream that you might actually get to live there one day. In my office at Real Madrid I had a picture of Tullamore’s stunning O’Connor Square on the wall and kept telling myself ‘One day Jose, one day.’ Well that day is here and my wife just told me that she can’t wait to start spending my Manchester United redundancy cheque in Athlone’s world famous Golden Island Shopping Centre.”

Mourinho said he intends to add a couple of players to the current Athlone line-up and have his squad together in time for the new season ready to bore the arse off League of Ireland fans up and down the country.